When my room is clean

When my room is clean, when no stray papers conceal my desk, when clothing is not strewn across every furniture surface, and my sheets are not crumpled in a ball but are safely tucked under the comforter, you may assume that one of two scenarios is playing out. The first is that things are going very well in my life and that I am not suffering from lots of stress. The second situation is that I am pretending I am in the first scenario by completely ignoring an impending deadline for an important project or obligation.

Well, my room looks fantastic, so which is it now? Number one or number two? In a sense, it is both. Should I be working on homework right now? Probably. Should I be continuing to tirelessly apply to every job for which I am qualified since I have no means of making money yet this summer? More than probably.

I can tell you, though, that I have not regretted one minute of how I have spent my day. Some things have not been going as expected this spring (though I should be used to such things after almost 21 one years), and it has been stressful time. Nonetheless, I am pushing that out of my mind as much as is responsible. I have just over a month left in Europe. I have traveled to many parts of Spain, to Portugal, and to Morocco. I improve my Spanish skills every day. I have met wonderful new people from my program and from Sevilla. How can I let anything get in the way from simply soaking this all up and being grateful for what I've experienced and for what is to come in the next few weeks?

Pushing through the next two days will be tough, but after that I have a long break over Holy Week. Charo has graciously invited me to stay at her beach house about an hour from Sevilla with her and our neighbor, Lourdes, a good friend of Charo's who has been known to liven up a few meals in this apartment. Most other students that I know are doing a whirlwind tour of other parts of Spain or other countries during the break, but I am excited to have a week of no obligations or structure. I will certainly frequent the beach, book in hand. Viewing some of Semana Santa in Sevilla is on the list, too. Charo will give me some Spanish cooking lessons like we've been talking about but haven't gotten around to yet. I can take a day to sit in a café to tranquilly apply for more summer jobs and work on final projects. Who knows, perhaps I'll even be able to catch up on blogs and posting pictures of where I've been the last couple of weeks.

As I sit here in this immaculate bedroom, productively procrastinating with this entry, I am at peace. The uncertainty of my future plans is killing me, but I am choosing to focus on the inevitably wonderful six weeks to come.